As the title implies, I am writing about the hardest physical skill I have learned thus far in my life, which is snowboarding. I started snowboarding last season (currently in season number 2) and have been humbled by the amount of effort it has taken, without having much to show for it. I would not say I am the most athletic person; however, I never was the worst at any physical skill I learned, even if I was not great. That is, until snowboarding.

I did not grow up skiing or snowboarding, so when I moved to my current location where active mountain lifestyle is the norm, I thought I should take up a winter sport. Initially I was planning on skiing, but I sprained my MCL in the summer and felt I did not want to risk reinjury on skis and that I would try snowboarding instead since both legs worked together vs alone.

My first day on the hill actually was a blast. I had signed up for group lessons and was going to go along with the group until they realized I was not just a beginner, but had never touched a snowboard before. To resolve this issue, they pulled another instructor and I got one-on-one lessons. My instructor made learning my heel and toe edges easy. Under his instruction, I learned and completed falling leaf (a snowboarding drill) both with heel and toe edge and could initiate both from the right or left turn. (According to what I know now, this was solid progress for the 2hr lessons.) He even got me on the lift and helped me nail my first dismount without falling! It was an encouraging day with few falls and I was excited to continue learning, especially since I had heard snowboarding was challenging to pick up.

Then came the hard part, which I call my “regression.”

The next time I went up to the mountain I was decked out with my very own snowboard and boots (I had rented the first day) and was ready to pick up where I left off from my lessons. It was miserable. I cannot count how many times I fell that day or how many edges I caught. I just could not make my body do anything close to what I had done the time before. I was not sure if it was my new gear, or a small detail missing, but I could not get myself down the hill without sliding on my heels. I was hoping I just needed to get used to my new gear and that things would get better, but I was crushed with disappointment in myself and my lack of skill. To make matters worse, the 3-year-olds on the hill could snowboard better than I, and the 5-year-olds were 100x better.

The rest of the season mainly consisted of sliding on my heels, lots of falls onto my butt, and several bad edge catches resulting in whiplash. There also were many tears on the hill. I was incredibly frustrated with myself. Not only was I not good, I was worse than my first day on the mountain, and who regresses that poorly?

As this next season came upon me, I was considering not continuing with snowboarding, however, I had already bought all my gear. I couldn’t just waste the money I had put into it (those things aren’t cheap!), so I decided to give it another go.

I am at six days boarding so far this season. Day 1 back on the hill was fair, and I really tried to work on my toe edge as this is my weak point. Day 2 was miserable mostly because I was tired from my first day on the board the day before and also because I caught an edge really bad. Day 3 we luckily got a decent amount of powder which made working on my skills easier with less repercussion when falling. I felt this day I was finally able to do a little more falling leaf, both heel and toe, and starting to connect my movements. Day 4 was another good snow day. We also had a cold spell come through and I took advantage of the less crowded hill to continue to progress my heel and toe to be mostly connected. I felt this day something finally clicked. I was able to mostly get my body to do what I wanted and had less hesitancy in my transitions (which actually makes you less prone to catching an edge). I also could see for the first time I was actually better?!? than a few people on the hill. Day 5 one of my ski patrol patients watched me go down 2 green runs and gave me some feedback to keep improving. Day 6 I went down 3 blue runs and could actually ride them instead of just sliding on my heels. The tips my ski patrol friend gave placed me in a better position of control which make riding 1: safer, 2: more enjoyable due to improved control. I finally feel I have made solid progress.

One of the things about being a perfectionist makes putting yourself out there and “failing” embarrassing. As I continued with snowboarding I finally understood the only one disappointed or ashamed in my performance was me. This experience has humbled me and also has given me better understanding and empathy for my patients as they are learning new skills or relearning proper movement patterns. I have also been working on changing my outlook of dread for putting myself out there and learning a new skill, to be excited and grateful for the opportunity to learn. I don’t know where my snowboard progression will go or if it will stay where it is now (I certainly hope not), so I will continue to improve and progress, and catch edges, and fall and keep getting back up.